me: *petting a cat* nice
cat: *bathes self where i touched it*
1. heat a towel
2. wrap towel around your belly
3. set towel on fire
4. wait until you’re dead
if he thinks rape jokes are funny go on a romantic boat ride with him and leave him in the middle of the fucking ocean to die
Why was Oedipus against profanity?
Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
I’m getting really tired of these motherfucking jokes.
doing a math question on a multiple choice test and getting an answer that isnt even listed as one of the choices